I drive luxury cars.

QotD: Life is Short

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 19:23:33 -0500

If you had to write your autobiography in 6 words, what would you write?
Submitted by mitzie.

It made me poop a lot.

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QotD: I've Got a Crush on You

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Sat, 17 May 2008 18:55:10 -0500

What do you do when you get a crush on someone?
Submitted by Desi.

Stalk them until legal action is taken.

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QotD: My Biggest Fear

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Mon, 12 May 2008 22:29:38 -0500

What is your deepest, darkest fear?
Submitted by [Susan].

Self-aware robots and/or tapeworms.

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Vox Hunt: The Good Book

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Sun, 04 May 2008 14:42:34 -0500

Show us your bible.
Submitted by Connie.

The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy & Vice

Phineas Mollod

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QotD: Sick Day

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 21:03:32 -0500

What's your favorite thing about being sick?

Definitely the diarrhea.

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What’s wrong with this country?

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:48:43 -0500

I’ll tell you what’s wrong! Kids. Damn, lazy kids. You want economic stimulation and less crime? Put kids back to work. Hey, gold bricks don’t smelt themselves, people. Besides, have you any idea the drop off in rock candy and Pall Mall sales since the abolition of child labor? Well, neither do I, at least not specific figures and such, but I’ll bet it’s substantial - I just betcha! And that’s just two industries fueled by sans-hiny-hair hirelings. Imagine all the other crap these kids’ll throw their money at. I mean, they’re already fuckin’, but they can’t afford rubbers, so what happens? Knocked up, that’s what. Give’m some foldin’ cash and they’ll waltz they’re boners straight to the corner grocery for some jimmy caps, rock candy and Pall Malls. Bing, bang, boom - everyone’s happy and there are less kids having kids, ergo, more competition in the job market for smelters or miners or pig shit shoveler or whatever else it was that kids did that adults could pay them to do because they knew what horribly shitty work it was and refused to do it themselves.

Fuckin’ A, Bubba.

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Vox Hunt: Cheers!

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 08:07:43 -0500

Show us something cheerful.
Submitted by Alex.

Oh Joy!

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QotD: Sticks and Stones

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 20:48:30 -0600

What's the meanest thing you've ever said to someone?

"Merry Christmas, you ho, ho, ho!"

I said that to a girl in 7th grade. She was very mean to me and I thought I was being awfully clever. If this is the part where you're expecting me to say, "but it was wrong and I'm sorry", you can keep waiting. She deserved it and I laughed my peach-fuzz nuts off. I'm not a mean guy and that's the beauty of it - she had it coming and she had no idea it would be coming from me. Note: When pushed to the limit, even nice guys have a mean streak.

Have a lovely evening.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. "Merry Christmas, you ho, ho, ho!" may or may not be the worst thing I have ever said to anyone, but it is the first thing I thought of when posed with this particular question.

P.P.S. Be certain to get plenty of vitamin C. There are lots of nasty illnesses floating around and vitamin C will help strengthen your immunity.

P.P.P.S. Do you think anyone has ever conducted an orchestra with his penis? If not, do you think that would be the sort of thing that would get me into the Guinness Book of World Records?

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Vox Hunt: And the Oscar Goes to...

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 17:40:33 -0600

Share your favorite Oscar moment.

Johnny Cash - 'Nasty Dan' (with Oscar the Grouch)

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Vox Hunt: Ring Ring!

nobody@vox.com(John Wesley Thomas "Red Jet" MacMhurchaidh) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 11:17:35 -0600

Share your cell phone ring tone.
Submitted by Ross.

It goes "ring ring" like a phone should and it's not loud enough for people in a 3 mile radius to hear.

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